A Man’s Perspective on Societal Expectations Toward Men and Sexuality

By: Yasmin Smith

Society often places rigid expectations on men when it comes to sex, relationships, and masculinity. From a young age, boys are taught unspoken rules of what it means to be “manly,” often through media, peer pressure, and cultural norms. But how do these high expectations of masculinity actually impact men’s views on sex, self-worth, and emotional intimacy?

To explore this, I interviewed my boyfriend to hear his perspective on how societal pressures shape men’s experiences with sex, relationships, and body image.

Question: Society places many expectations on men, especially when it comes to sex and sexuality. How do you think these expectations shape the way men are “supposed” to approach these topics?

Answer: “There’s a huge pressure for men to be sexually experienced from a young age. If you’re still a virgin past 18, people might see you as less of a man. At the same time, the more sexual partners you have, the more masculine you’re perceived to be. It creates a hierarchy where sexual experience is tied to self-worth.”

Question: Do you think there’s a stigma around men being either sexually inexperienced or too sexually active?

Answer: “I don’t think men get judged for being too sexually active. If anything, they’re praised for it. But there is definitely a stigma around inexperience- there’s an assumption that if you haven’t had sex by a certain age, there’s something wrong with you.”

Question: Are there any unrealistic sexual expectations or myths that you’ve noticed being perpetuated by society?

Answer: “Definitely. There’s this idea that men have to last a long time in bed, have a certain penis size, and be tall to be attractive. Height, in particular, is a big insecurity for many men because of societal standards. Social media makes these pressures worse, with people only posting idealized, edited versions of themselves, which can lead to body dysmorphia. This is especially true for teenage boys who feel pressured to build a muscular physique to fit the “ideal” male image.”

Question: Do you feel you were adequately educated about sex, relationships, and emotional intimacy growing up?

Answer: “Not really. A lot of boys learn about sex through porn, which gives a very unrealistic and unhealthy perspective. There’s little education on emotional intimacy or what a healthy relationship looks like.”

Question: What do you think can be done to improve sex education for boys?

Answer: “Boys need better education on the risks of sex, like STDs and unplanned pregnancies, as well as how to protect themselves properly. But beyond that, we need to talk more about the emotional side of sex. There’s a lot of pressure to perform on teenage boys to lose their virginity and to perform a certain way when in reality, sex should be about having a connection with someone you actually like and trust. Education should focus on that, rather than just the physical aspects.”